Arrow: It's Not Easy
by ArlyssTolero
Summary: Tag to 2x20. When Sara Lance begins to backtrack after her first setback on her attempt to follow Oliver's path away from darkness and being a killer, both Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak give her something to think about.


_**Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow.**_

_**A/N: Just a little one-shot I wrote some time ago to fix one of the dumbest break-up scenes in the Arrowverse. It's still available on AO3 via the 'orphan account' there so I won't be reposting it there. But I thought I should repost it here. **_

Arrow:

It's Not Easy

By

ArlyssTolero

"Tibetan Pit Viper venom," Felicity said with a grimace as John Diggle hooked up an I.V. drip of the stuff to keep Roy sedated. "A constant dose of that can't be good for you." She looked over at Sara Lance, who was watching with folded arms and a troubled, but thoughtful look on her face. "Right?"

"It'll keep him sedated like it did Slade," John replied.

"Until when? And what happens when we run out?" Felicity asked as Oliver Queen limped into the room. "It's not like you can buy this stuff over the counter. Unless you're in Tibet. Then… maybe."

"We'll take of him," Oliver said as he came to a stop beside Felicity and across from Sara, bracing himself on the table holding Roy with one hand to take the pressure off his injured leg, if only for a short time. He looked at Roy's unconscious face, remembering when he had had the chance to cure Slade but chose not to, and then looked at Sara. "I'm not ready to give up on Roy." He began limping back over to a seat.

"Anyone else crave dim sum after fisticuffs?" Felicity asked, feeling the tension in the air and trying to handle it in the best way she knew how, by breaking it with a humorous quip. Unfortunately, it fell flat. "No? Okay, dumplings for one, then…" Felicity said, heading to her computer to put in the order (which she would then wait for upstairs to avoid the awkward tension in the Foundry). Sara stared down at the unconscious form of the young man, guilt eating inside of her.

"I would have killed him," she said quietly, before looking at Oliver, who was pulling on his suit coat. "I was ready to. He'd be dead right now if you hadn't of stopped me."

"But he's not," Oliver said, turning to face Sara, "and that's all that matters." He turned and began walking towards the stairs. Felicity was doing her best to fill that order quick and get out to escape the tension that was building more and more between the Arrow and the Canary.

"That's not true…" Sara said, and Oliver stopped in his tracks. "I _wanted_ to kill Roy. Because that's what I do," she continued as Oliver turned to face her. "That's who I am. Because I spent six years in the darkness, and I looked into the eyes of the devil, and I gave him my soul."

"Let me help you get it back," Oliver said, sensing where this conversation was going.

"No, you deserve someone better," Sara said, with a painful grimace that might otherwise have been a smile. "Someone who can harness that light that's still inside of you. But I'm not that person… and I never will be." Sara turned to go.

"Sara…" Oliver said, and she turned back. "You are very wrong. There _is_ no light left inside of me. I've been struggling this year because I'm trying to channel something that _doesn't exist_ anymore." Sara stood rooted in the spot as Oliver stepped closer, putting a hand on her shoulder. "We've both spent six years in darkness. We both sold our souls to a devil. I was in Russia two years ago, and I skinned a man alive not just to interrogate him, but for _practice_. I _enjoyed_ it, and I _enjoyed_ what I did last year. It isn't easy to try a different path, Sara; Dig had to force me to go after the Restons. Felicity forced me again to change what I did when the Dodger came to town."

Oliver stepped closer still, planting a kiss on Sara's forehead. "I killed the Count. I killed Cyrus Gold. I tried to kill Slade the moment we were alone at the mansion. It's not easy to stop killing after doing it for so long. I keep telling people I am no hero, because I'm not. I'm just a guy who wants to help his city, and sometimes, that means I have to kill."

Oliver took one of Sara's hands in his own. "John and Felicity are good friends, but I know that they judge me when I kill, when I torture, when I do things that don't fit the definition of being a hero. You are the _one person_ who doesn't judge me, because we _are the same_. Don't give up, don't run from your problems after one setback. The only way to grow beyond what the island, the League, and A.R.G.U.S. made us into is if we get back up and _keep fighting_. Don't abandon this fight; stand with me." Oliver looked down. "Stand with me and our city. Don't leave. Please, be here when I get back. We still have work to do."

Oliver turned and left, Sara watching him go with a troubled expression. "He's right, you know," Felicity said quietly from behind her. Sara turned. "You have to keep fighting when you hit a setback. When I was at M.I.T., I had a boyfriend, Cooper Seldon. We were hacktivists. I created a super-virus, and he used it to try and get into the Department of Education to wipe out all student loans. He got arrested, and he hung himself in prison. That could've sent me straight back to Vegas and a cocktail job, because my need to show how brilliant I am led to the death of the man I loved. But I fought through it, and I finished my degrees, and I moved to Starling, and I met Oliver and Dig, who gave me a purpose again beyond being just some IT girl." Felicity walked over and took one of Sara's hands in her own. "It's not easy to grow, no matter what challenge you face," Felicity told her. "What matters is if you let that challenge make you run, or if you stand and fight it. Oliver, Dig, and _you_ have shown me that more than once. So, don't leave us."

Sara wiped the tears that had welled up in her eyes away with one hand. "You finish that dim sum order?" she asked with a choked laugh.

"Not yet," Felicity replied with a smile. "Should I make it an order for 2?"

"Yeah," Sara said with a smile.

While Sara would eventually go back to the League of Assassins, it would not be because she wanted to run from her responsibilities in Starling or from her failure in embracing Oliver's path. It would be to give them all a fighting chance against Slade Wilson's army of Mirakuru soldiers.

_**A/N: As I said before, this was one of the dumbest break-up scenes in the entire series. Oliver & Laurel's break-up in 2x01 made sense because of their mutual guilt they were feeling. Felicity & Oliver's break-up in Season 4 was inevitable, if poorly handled. This break-up came out of NOWHERE in 2x20 and, as far as I'm concerned, was one of the death knells for the show's quality. **_

_**It was also where the show shifted their focus to 'Olicity' and completely destroyed Felicity Smoak, who I fucking LOVED back in Season 2. **_


End file.
